Tag Archives: Children
Bedtime Stories: Just Joking
Post by Mark T. Locker.
Just joking : 300 hilarious jokes, tricky tongue twisters, and ridiculous riddles
The National Geographic Society is not just about publishing the once-monthly gold-bordered glossy magazines full of beautiful photography and intriguing articles. Now it is the purveyor of knock-knock jokes and other groan-inducing riddles. I bought this one for my son with a pretty good sense that I would quickly regret this particular gift choice.
Turns out, I don’t really regret it at all. I have long been a fan of cheesy riddles, annoying knock-knock jokes and anything even remotely resembling a pun. The hardest part for me is deciding whether to pretend that I don’t know the answers to these jokes after being asked them 50 times or always give him the joy of the delivery. Right now, I’m at about 50/50. Here are a couple examples of what you will be in for:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in there?
Q:Who robs you when you are in a bathtub?
A: A robber ducky!
You get the idea. There will be no learning useful facts. There is no thought-provoking journalism. Just three hundred achingly terrible jokes. I highly recommend it. Any kid with a sense of humor will be well served by having this collection in their arsenal.
Bedtime Stories: Celebrating Seuss!
Post by Mark T. Locker.
Last week was the 111th birthday of Dr. Seuss, probably the most beloved and easily identified of all American picture book creators. Educators and librarians everywhere go crazy for Dr. Seuss’s birthday. Out come those gigantic Cat in the Hat red and white hats. Off the shelves come all the Seuss books; I believe there are at least 60. I’ll bet a few Dr. Seuss look-alikes get pulled as well. There are a bunch of those. At my son’s school, he got to dress in pajamas and a robe, and carry around a stuffed animal. Or in his case, a stuffed robot. Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, How the Grinch Stole Christmas are all top contenders for top Seuss books. Though in our family, we have our own favorites. The kids in class had the option to bring their favorite Dr. Seuss book, which in our case was a toss-up between The Sneetches and Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? The latter won in the end, even though the other stories in The Sneetches are amazing. Included are “Too Many Daves” in which the woman with a ton of sons regrets naming them all Dave. Seuss offers some names she could have chosen instead. My favorite is Marvin O’Gravel Balloon Face. My son’s favorite is Oliver Tolliver Butt. No mystery why.
Also included is “What Was I Scared Of?” I’ll tell you what he was scared of: a pair of pale green pants with nobody inside them! I would be too. Even if it turns out that they are as scared of you as you are of them. Dr. Seuss’s birthday may have already passed, but there’s no reason you can’t go check out all 60+ of his books and bring them all into bed with you tonight to cover you in a big, heavy blanket of Seuss-y goodness.
Movies in Bed: Pee-Wee’s Playhouse
Post by Mark T. Locker.
We don’t have a TV in the bedroom. We just have the one, in the front room. But that doesn’t stop us from snuggling up on the couch under a bunch of blankets on Saturday mornings for cartoons. And now, our Saturday ritual is so much better, and nostalgic, thanks to the release of the complete Pee-wee’s Playhouse series on Netflix! Also on Blu-ray if that’s how you roll. I was the perfect age to watch this when I was a kid, if a little bit too old towards the end.
Pee-wee’s Playhouse is a joyful half hour full of talking animals and furniture, refrigerator drama, surprising celebrities, and the occasional morality lesson. Phil Hartman (rest his soul) and Laurence Fishburne were regulars. My son was an instant fan. He is always asking me who my favorite character is. That’s like choosing my favorite Chinese dish! I love most of them. But Terry (Pterry?) I guess is preferable to Chairry or Globey. It’s a wonderful new world that has opened up to my kid and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I had forgotten how utterly weird and silly the show is. I’d also forgotten about the little moral lessons, like when Randy tries to get Pee-wee to smoke. All in all, it’s the goofiest, most harmless show. Except for that intro song. That can hurt after hearing it a few times! 🙂
Bedtime Stories: The Book With No Pictures
Post by Mark T. Locker.
The Book With No Pictures by B.J. Novak
Word of warning to parents/readers of books to children: DON’T OPEN IT. IT’S A TRAP You will be bound to saying some very silly things out loud if you read it.
True to its title, this book has no pictures but that won’t stop kids from clamoring to have it read to them over and over. The premise of this book is that the words can be as fun as the pictures, if handled correctly. See, whoever reads the book out loud HAS to say what the words tell him to say. Even if the book makes the reader say, “I am a monkey using my monkey mouth to read!” the reader is bound by the laws of book-reading to say this out loud.
The book is basically a dialog between the reader and the mean book making him say all kinds of silly things out loud. Like:
BLARRRRRRFF!!
-Wait! I didn’t want to say that! Don’t make me read any more!
I’ve read this twice in as many days to my son and he’s read it once to me so far. It’s a good concept. It reminds me of Mo Willems’s We Are In a Book! in which the characters have a moment of clarity in which they discover they are in a book and use the opportunity to make the reader say “Banana”. To kids, this is hands-down the funnies part of the whole book. Good concept to build on. I think if you are an authority figure it’s even more fun. You get to see the teacher say, “My head is made of blueberry pizza!” Definitely worth a read or six.
Breakfast in Bed –Mrs. O’Callaghan’s Irish Scones
Post by Alison Hein.
My mother-in-law, Jeannie, obtained this traditional Irish scone recipe from Mrs. O’Callaghan herself in 1961. Jeannie began baking Mrs. O’Callaghan’s delicious scones as a young newlywed, and has continued to do so for the past 50 years! My husband and his siblings still clamor for them whenever they visit their mother.
Who was Mrs. O’Callaghan? She was my mother-in-law’s sister-in-law’s mother-in-law. Funny, I know, but true. Jeannie has modified Mrs. O’Callaghan’s recipe slightly over the years – she adds 1 tablespoon of caraway seeds instead of the original teaspoon, bakes the scones in round cake pans instead of an old-fashioned cast iron frying pan, and skips the buttermilk brushed on top after baking.
I decided to keep Jeannie’s extra caraway seeds, use Mrs. O’Callaghan’s frying pan, and add my own twist of golden raisins. Even with variations, this is a remarkably easy and wonderful recipe. It takes only minutes to mix up the butterless batter, and the long baking time is made easier by the heavenly, wafting aroma that emanates from the kitchen. The scones rise high in the oven, and finish with a consistency light and even, and a flavor balanced by sweet raisins and savory caraway.
While I never had the good fortune to meet Mrs. O’Callaghan, I recently came to know some of her grandchildren. They too have slightly modified their Nan’s recipe over the years, but all still continue to bake, infusing their homes with delightful aromas and making wonderful memories for the next generation. A breakfast in bed to remember.
Ingredients
3 cups flour
¼ cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1½ cups buttermilk
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 cup raisins (or golden raisins)
1 tablespoon caraway seeds
Preparation
Preheat oven to 350°. In large bowl, mix together flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Stir baking soda into buttermilk. Pour buttermilk mixture and lightly beaten egg into dry ingredients and mix just to combine. Batter should be thick but spreadable. Stir in raisins and caraway seeds.
Grease and flour a 10-inch cast iron frying pan. Spread batter evenly in pan. Place in oven and bake until scones are nicely browned and a toothpick inserted in top comes out clean, about 50 to 60 minutes. Alternatively, grease and flour two round 8-inch cake pans. Divide batter evenly between the two pans and reduce baking time to about 45 minutes.
Remove scone from pan and brush top with a little buttermilk, if you like. Wrap immediately in a tea towel so scones remain warm and soft. When ready to serve, cut scone in wedges. Serve warm with good Irish butter.
Makes 12 to 14 scones.
