Tag Archives: Vordak
Post by Mark T. Locker.
How to Grow Up and RULE THE WORLD by VORDAK the Incomprehensible
All kids need to have goals in life. Even if it’s something small, like learning to tie your shoes or reading that long chapter book all on your own. That’s all well and good for some, but that may not be enough for those who REALLY strive for something bigger. So if you have a son or daughter who aims to dominate, rule, and crush the enemy, How to Grow Up and RULE THE WORLD by VORDAK the Incomprehensible may be a good start.
Assuming you pass the Evil Aptitude Test, Vordak will guide your child through all the necessary steps to becoming an indomitable force, complete with handy diagrams! One of the first things you need to do is to pick a supremely villainous name. There is a chart to help with this. Just be sure it includes the word “the”, pronounced “thee”. Learn how to master evil laughter, how to load up your utility belt, and how to pick out the costume that embodies your particular brand of evilness best.
Vordak will also show you the pros and cons of various “diabolically clever yet extremely slow-acting death traps” like tying a superhero to a conveyor belt with a buzz saw at the end. He will show you the proper way to aim a space laser.
My son has been having a lot of fun with this book and so far no evil side-effects. Good for short-attention-span thumbing through and chock full of fun pictures, this book will entertain future supervillians for hours on end!