Category Archives: Movies in Bed
Movies in Bed: Scrooged
Post by Mark T. Locker.
Well, it’s the day after Thanksgiving. We all know what THAT means: Four weeks of in-your-face Christmas fun! The least I can do is make a meager contribution by sharing some of those good old-fashioned holiday movies. Not that any of these will be a new discovery for you. Nevertheless: Happy Holidays! Let the fun begin!
We will start off with the 1988 Bill Murray reinterpretation of the classic Dickens story, “A Christmas Carol”. I’m talking about Scrooged. Bill Murray stars as Frank Cross. As befits the tale, he is successful and a terrible human being. As befits Bill Murray, he does it all in the most hilariously awful way. Stapling tiny antlers onto a little mouse? Ha ha! and No.
We all know how these stories play out: visits from the ghosts, a vision of what lies ahead if he continues to be a total jerk and then, of course, the possibility for redemption. I wonder which he’ll choose? Watch it this season and marvel at the fact that this is the 25th anniversary of the film. Yup. It’s one quarter of a century old.
Classic holiday fun for all!
Movies in Bed: Walking With Monsters: Life Before Dinosaurs
Post by Mark T. Locker.
When all the dinosaur shows have been watched (and watched and watched) but still you (or, more likely, your offspring/niece/neighbor) still long for more prehistoric CGI action, you can rest easy! Brought to you by the same chaps at BBC who created the much-lauded Walking With Dinosaurs series have a trilogy shining a light on the creatures who began all the fun. Beginning with my kid’s favorite (announced in a dramatic British accent): ARTHROPODS. For the uninitiated, that means scorpions and spiders and other fun things. Now, picture them the size of a Volkswagen and crawling out of the sea. ARTHROPODS.
This show follow the dinosaurs’ predecessors from the first fish to the dimetrodons, which I always thought were dinosaurs but apparently aren’t. My father-in-law, the eminent non-paleontologist grumbled, “Is it bigger than a dog? Then it’s a dinosaur!” Although I like his philosophy, I had to argue that elephants are bigger than dogs too. ANYWAY…if you or someone you love digs prehistoric creatures and you can handle the brutal truth of life in the Cambrian and early Permian periods, find this series streaming online. It’s fun and less played than the old dinosaurs.
Movies in Bed: Planes
Post by Mark T. Locker.
Nothing like staying home with a kid who is technically sick but bursting with energy. Thank goodness for second-run movie theaters, especially the kinds that serve pizza and beer. On a Thursday afternoon, you can stroll in with a pretty reasonable expectation to be the only people in the theater, on the teensy off-chance that the kid is still contagious (he wasn’t). I must admit, I was not only dubious of the Disney talking plane movie Planes; I was downright dreading it. I couldn’t make it through more than twenty minutes of Cars, that merchandising darling of the Disney empire. You know what? It wasn’t that great. On the other hand, it wasn’t that bad. From a three-minute trailer, or from watching the first five minutes, you can accurately predict every aspect of the movie. And the stereotype attributed to the planes of different genders and ethnicities was definitely cringe-worthy. But in the end, I was not in physical pain watching this, which is saying a lot considering what some children’s programming is like. I’m not going to run out and buy it when it comes out on DVD (November 19th!). But it’s a good way to kill two hours with a sick kid.
Movies in Bed: Paranormal Activity 3
Post by Mark T. Locker.
I may be a day late on this one, but Halloween was my best chance at watching something spoooooky. And Halloween came on a Thursday and the movie reviews go up on Fridays. It’s not my fault that I didn’t have this for you yesterday. Anyway, some people find horror movies to be good any time of year. I bet there’s folk out there watch slasher films after Thanksgiving dinner. I don’t. I don’t watch anything but the wall after Thanksgiving dinner.
So: Paranormal Activity 3. The premise throughout the four movies is the same, and they are all about the same group of people, which is interesting. If you never saw the first one, it is a videocamera-obsessed guy and his wife or girlfriend. All we see is the footage he shoots as he tries to capture evidence of mysterious, perhaps otherworldly goings-on in the home. Namely, a ghost or demon or something wreaking havoc and messing with his wife. Number three is actually about the woman from the first one, but as a child. We discover that this nasty thing has been in her life since she was small. Initially dismissed as an imaginary friend, “Toby” turns out to be very real and very unpleasant.
This is a good movie to watch if you like being startled, seeing creepy things appear suddenly, and are willing to suspend a little bit of disbelief. (Someone is always sooo stubborn and unwilling to see what is right in front of her!)
Movies in Bed: Beastmaster
Post by Mark T. Locker
A quiet evening at home with friends. Nothing much to do. Full of food and looking for something—ANYthing—to watch. Oh, the anticipation as someone, in a fit of inspiration, rummages through his bag and pulls out a mystery DVD. Within moments you know exactly what kind of movie this is going to be: part Conan the Barbarian part Krull. Enter the Beastmaster, 1982. Via vague mystical means the baby Dar is taken from his mother’s womb and given birth to by a cow. Naturally, he develops a unique ability to communicate with animals. Even the—what are those?—giant bat people things have a deep respect for him. On his journey to…do whatever he is doing, he meets a lot of people with single-syllable names: Maax, Seth. Tal, Zed, and acquires a menagerie of helpful animal friends.
If you like lots of stone structures, lots of dust and fire, then this is the movie for you. If you like saying, “What the heck is going on???”, if you like movies that keep going long after you think it should have ended: Beastmaster. If you like loincloths, fighting with big sticks and sad tigers dyed black, I have your Friday night entertainment right here.
