Tag Archives: Movie Reviews

Movies in Bed: The Martian

the-martian-main

Post by Mark T. Locker.

If you don’t live under a rock, chances are you have heard of The Martian. Unlike the other occupied Mars movies of the past (Red Planet, Total Recall, Ghosts of Mars) this one is not some pie in the sky super future movie where all the terraforming and whatnot has already occurred. This story, based on Andy Weir’s novel of the same name, is set in a very plausible near-future and is filled to the brim with science. Much of the buzz around this movie is how scientifically accurate it is and how NASA even helped offer insight to make it as realistic as possible.

Luckily, it has more than scientific accuracy on its side. Though dubiously placed in the “Comedy” category for the Golden Globes, the movie does have some chuckleable moments. But mostly it’s a science drama. When a massive, crazy scary Martian storm blows in unexpectedly, a manned mission is aborted. Astronaut and botanist Mark Watley is struck by flying debris and presumably killed. All the sensors say he is dead. They have no choice but to leave him. But he is alive, if not totally well. Fully aware of his circumstances, he begins working on doing all he can to survive and work out how to get himself rescued.

A surprisingly amusing and interesting movie, The Martian was recently released on video so it’s a great way to wrap up a long week. But schedule your movie in bed early because at a whopping 2 hours and 30 minutes, you’ll be up late!

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Movies in Bed: Monster House

monster housePost by Mark T. Locker.

With Halloween just around the corner, I have to up my game trying to find a movie that is “scary” but isn’t so scary that my seven-year-old can’t watch it. Basically, he has to be assured that everything will be okay in the end. I know, I know, the kid’s got too much empathy. Well, we watched Monster House this past weekend and managed to fit the bill nicely.

Thirteen-year-old DJ lives across the street from a crabby old man, the classic “Get off my lawn!” type, the kind of guy who takes your ball if it lands in your yard and won’t give it back. Well one day while DJ and his friend Chowder are playing ball, the basketball lands in Old Man Nebbercracker’s yard but this time DJ decides to get it back. The resulting confrontation leads the old man to have a heart attack  and to be taken off in an ambulance.

With the old man gone, strange things begin to happen. The house eats the basketball. The house eats an obnoxious teenager after luring him in with a kite he lost there as a child. Since no reasonable adult would believe them, DJ, Chowder, and their new friend Jenny take it upon themselves to take out the house. But what they discover inside changes their whole perception of what is happening.

Kind of scary, kind of funny, and full of action, this is a great movie for sensitive kids who insist they want something “scary” to watch this Halloween. The characters are fine, there’s nothing too offensive going on and it’s just scary enough to give a couple good scares without the risk of nightmares.

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Movies in Bed: The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

IchabodposterPost by Mark T. Locker.

As a lover of the season of Halloween, our family is always on the hunt for fun, spooky movies. The problem is they have to be bearable for an easily frightened (but VERY arbitrarily frightened) seven-year-old. So we decided to dust off our copy of the 1949 Disney classic interpretation of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving. Inexplicably, Disney packaged it with “The Adventures of Mr. Toad” which is based on The Wind in the Willows which is rather un-spooky.

So the first forty minutes of this movie I was begging my kid to let me skip ahead. But he wouldn’t relent. It wasn’t awful; it just wasn’t what I had come here to watch. My kid loved it. Mr. Toad gets himself into some trouble and his sprawling estate is given over to the criminal weasel gang and Mr. Toad is imprisoned. Conspiracies are uncovered and Toad and his friends fight to right the wrongs done to him. Somehow all of this must relate to the ride at Disneyland, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. What that relationship is, I do not know.

Then, quite suddenly, we are transported from 1908 England to upstate New York in 1790. We all know Ichabod Crane: the gangly, food-obsessed new schoolteacher in Sleepy Hollow. Ichabod is in love with the lovely Katrina. So is Brom. After many thwarted attempts to garner her attention away from Ichabod, Brom hatches a plan. Knowing that Ichabod is a highly superstitious man, he tells a terrifying story about the legend of the Headless Horseman who roams the land searching for his head. Ichabod is frightened and on his way home sees shapes and hears eerie sounds in everything. Suddenly, a figure on a horse rears up before him! It’s the Headless Horseman! A frightening chase ensues. The next day, all they find is a smashed pumpkin and Ichabod’s hat. He is never seen in Sleepy Hollow again.

Pretty darned harmless cartoon, only about 2o minutes long, this Halloween classic is sure to provide chills to kids without much worry for nightmares. They can watch it while the grown-ups finish the half-gutted pumpkins!

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Movies in Bed: The Haunted Mansion

220px-Haunted_mansion_ver3Post by Mark T. Locker.

Happy Halloween season, folks! Time to get out the fake skeletons, wrap everything in spooky black gauze and bust out the scary movies! But if you have a kid who is sensitive to scary things, you may have to dial down the eek factor by a significant margin. There are a number of kind of scary movies you can choose from and then a lot of not scary but Halloween-themed.

We decided to try out Disney’s Haunted Mansion, starring Eddie Murphy. If they can make a movie based on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, why not a movie based on the Haunted House at Disneyland?

The premise is pretty out-of-the-box: Jim Evers (Murphy) is a realtor with his wife and business partner Sara. But he can’t stop working and lets his job get in the way of his personal life, his wife and two kids. SO in an effort to mend things, they take a family vacation with one caveat: they stop and check out this crazy mansion that they’ve been asked to sell.

Oh, one other caveat: the place is crazy haunted and the lord of the manor is a ghost and he wants Sara to join him in the Eternal. Oops! But nobody is really that scary; the maid and the servant are funny and kind to the children. They’re just a bit translucent. You can imagine that a lot of hi jinks take place. And perhaps along the way Jim Evers will learn that there are things that are more important than making the sale. In a word: family.

Despite its total un-scariness, my seven-year-old found it a bit too much to handle. No nightmares, but he demanded we turn it off. I guess we will stick to The Worst Witch for now. But if you child is made of tougher stuff, it’s a fun spooky Halloweeny good time!

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Movies in Bed: Song of the Sea

Song_of_the_Sea_(2014_film)_posterPost by Mark T. Locker.

Another gorgeous and beautifully animated movie for the whole family comes to us courtesy of Tomm Moore. If you don’t know the name, he is behind the movie The Secret of Kells, a visually arresting animated movie about a young boy living long ago in the Monastery of Kells in a scary, beautiful, magical world. I could watch it over and over just for the beauty of the animation.

His newest movie, Song of the Sea, was nominated for best animated picture last year, for what it’s worth. Taking on Irish legend, the movie tells the story of a boy named Ben and his little sister Saoirse, who is mute. They live alone at a remote lighthouse with their father. One day Saoirse finds her mother’s sealskin cloak in a trunk and puts it on, then runs out to the sea. She dives in and is immediately transformed into a seal. She is a Selkie, one of they mythical creatures who can shed their seal skin and become human for brief periods of time. When her father finds her cold and shivering on the shore the next day, he locks up the cloak and sends the children to their grandmother.

But Saoirse has a shell flute from her mother and its song alerts faeries, both good and bad, to her presence. Soon it becomes clear that Saoirse is unwell and must don the sealskin cloak to survive. Good big brother Bed stops at nothing to keep her sister safe and save the faerie folk from the wicked Macha and her owls who turn them to stone.

This movie is full of so much and yet it never gets muddled or confusing. Half tale of lore, half tale of love of a boy for his sister, Song of the Sea is a lovely and beautiful movie to watch as a family. Watch it in bed and you’ll have the loveliest dreams.

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